Navigating conversations about sexuality talks with children can be a daunting task for parents, given the sensitivity of the subject.
This journey spans from childhood to young adulthood, evolving as children grow and develop. In this article, we'll explore key issues and approaches parents can employ when engaging with their children about sexuality, incorporating perspectives from the Islamic point of view.
1. Building Strong Foundations
Before delving into discussions about sexuality talks, it is crucial for parents to establish and maintain a close relationship with their children. This foundation is vital for effective communication and understanding between parents and their adulting children. Often, parents may feel anxious or panicked when faced with undesirable behaviour, but focusing on building a close bond is paramount in raising and educating children.
Maintaining a close relationship becomes even more crucial during the teenage years and into adulthood. This connection serves as a bridge for open communication, making it easier for parents to guide and advise their children. Without this bond, children may turn to peers for guidance, potentially leading to misinformation or a lack of support.
2. Understand the Islamic Perspective on Relationships
In Islam, fostering a close relationship with children is not just recommended, it is heavily emphasised. The Quran teaches that love comes first before conveying a message of goodness. Just look at Luqman's message to his son in the following verse:
" And, lo, Luqmān spoke thus unto his son, admonishing him: "O my dear son! Do not ascribe divine powers to aught beside God: for, behold, such [a false] ascribing of divinity is indeed an awesome wrong!” (Surah Luqman, 31:13)
This principle is mirrored in the actions of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), who demonstrated love and affection towards his daughter, Fatimah. Feelings of love and affection not only need to be expressed to the children but also shown through actions.
In hadith narrated by Aishah r.a., She said: "I have not seen anyone closer in conduct, way, and manners to that of the Messenger of Allah in regard to standing and sitting than Fatimah, the daughter of the Messenger of Allah s.w.t." She said, "Whenever she would enter upon the Prophet s.a.w. he would stand to her and kiss her, and he would sit her in his sitting place." (Jami' Al-Tirmidhi)
The hadith narrated highlights the Prophet's gentleness and care in his interactions with Fatimah, showcasing the importance of expressing love through words and actions.
3. Educational Foundations
In addition to establishing a close relationship, acquiring parenting knowledge is fundamental in effectively educating children, particularly in today's challenging modern era. Parents must develop appropriate parenting skills, including an understanding of their children's behavioural personalities.
Recognizing each child's unique love language communication tendency is key. When children are treated in alignment with their love language, they feel loved and appreciated. Parenting skills play a pivotal role in addressing the challenges that arise when discussing sensitive topics like sexuality with children.
Approaching sexuality issues with children requires a delicate balance of open communication, love, and understanding. Parents can navigate these conversations with compassion and wisdom by fostering a close relationship, drawing inspiration from Islamic teachings, and equipping themselves with essential parenting knowledge. In doing so, they provide their children with a solid foundation for healthy relationships and informed decision-making as they journey into adulthood, Insya ’Allah.
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